a guest post by Jessie Peterson
What do you and your partner do to get ready for the day? What do you do at night? Couples need good habits to thrive, but many people do not understand how to develop them. We’re going to give you an outline of the habits you should have along with a justification on why you want to make them. Keep these ideas in mind when you’re starting a relationship or getting more serious with a partner, and you’ll do very well!
Why shared habits are good
The first thing we have to do is understand why you’ll want to make shared habits with your partner. After all, if you both can do your own thing, why shouldn’t you?
Based on the expert reviews of UK dating sites, couples with shared habits are more prone to make their relationships last because these habits not just strengthen their bond but also result in a better quality of life and overall health. Falling into habits is great for organization, and it allows you to take part in careful planning for your day. That way, you both know what to expect from every day of the week, and you and your partner can optimize your outcomes as needed.
Shared habits are important for other reasons, too. Some people do not have the willpower to establish good habits for themselves. They are simply not capable of dragging themselves out of bed to exercise. Having a partner that is also invested in staying healthy can help you because they will keep you accountable to your goals. Working together makes the problem easier when you have the love and support of someone.
Developing habits with your partner is also important because it will strengthen your relationship and establish the personal boundaries you need to thrive.
How much time do you need to develop a habit?
When does doing something become a habit? Is there a set amount of time that you have to invest before it becomes second nature to you?
There are a few answers to this question, but science says that it can take people anywhere from 18-250 days to settle into a habit, and the average number of days is about 66. That means you need just about two months on average to build a habit with your partner. Fortunately, you can work on developing several habits at the same time that will act as a reinforcement for the rest of the habits that you are trying to build throughout a given period of time.
When you are trying to build a good habit, a good practice is to follow what is said to be the 3 R’s: reminder, routine, and reward.
The reminder is something that triggers the behavior that you want to take part in. For example, you might set the alarm on your phone that tells you that it is time for you to get on the treadmill and start walking. Next, you have the routine. That is the action you take or doing the actual thing you want to build into a habit. Finally, you have the reward. If you are staying consistent with your habit, then you should be able to reward yourself. If you’re on a diet, have your favorite drink once in a while as long as it doesn’t upset your other plans.
Keeping in mind these three steps for the amount of time that it takes for the habit to become second nature will result in successful habit-forming. However, it is important to identify the kinds of habits that people can form with their significant other and why they are necessary.
When you wake up first thing in the morning, you have to be ready to greet the day’s challenges. Starting the day in a hectic, unstructured way can lead to chaos in your life and will inevitably upset the habits that you’re trying to form. That is why you should consider creating all of these habits and abiding by them throughout the day.
- have your breakfast together
You’ll want to start the day with your partner to feel their connection and set your agenda for the day. You can reinforce good behavior over your breakfast!
- show affection during the day
A lot of couples only show physical affection at night. That’s not enough. Remember when you were dating and wanted to show and tell them that you loved them all the time? Keep that in mind and give your partner a hug, a kiss, and compliments throughout the day.
- find common hobbies
A major issue that a lot of couples have is that they do not partake in the same hobbies as one another. You should find ways to enjoy yourself while in the presence of your partner. Whether you both take an interest in cooking, dancing, yoga, or sports, you can enjoy the time you spend with each other by having common hobbies. Even if you aren’t set on a hobby, you can still try it to show support for your partner and help establish their habits.
- spend time outdoors
While spending your days off of work indoors on the couch might be fun, it’s something that doesn’t strengthen your relationship. Spend time exploring the world with your partner, and you will find it easier to go out in this great big world of ours more often!
Forming habits with your romantic partner can be the biggest positive influence on your health goals, too. You simply have to make sure that you stick to the following habits:
- Create a Routine
You should have a plan to exercise at the same time every day with or without your partner. That way, you naturally fall into the rhythm of getting yourself into shape without having to think about it. In fact, your day should feel empty if you do not exercise, drink the right amount of water, or if you don’t have healthy foods near you to eat.
- Vary Exercises and Levels of Difficulty
While you might want to go running every single day of the week, it’s a good idea to add some variety to your exercise regimen. Not only will you build complementary muscle groups that can help your overall fitness level, but it prevents you from overtraining in an area of your body. Yes, that can happen, and it can lead to injuries. Also, make some workouts rigorous to build yourself up and then use other workouts as a way to exercise and promote fitness. You can’t go hard all the time!
- Drink Water
Most people don’t drink enough water throughout the day. If you’re one of them, it’s a good idea to get a water bottle that you can fill and use to track your consumption throughout the day. While there is no perfect amount for everyone, you should be able to tell if you’re hydrated or not. Water helps in many body functions, so bottoms up!
- Pack Your Fridge with Healthy Products
You can’t afford to let yourself fall into the trap of keeping snacks in the house “just in case.” Instead, you need to make sure that the only foods you have in the house to eat have some kind of nutritional value to them. That way, you don’t get tempted to eat a granola bar when you could have a piece of fruit instead.
- Set and Achieve Goals Together
Lastly, you have to set goals with your partner and work to achieve them together. Having someone to keep you accountable to your habit development will help you in the long run. Remember that you and your partner’s goals do not have to be the same. However, they should always be specific and measurable goals that you have some way of tracking and recording so your partner can review them!
The end of the day is all about getting the rest you need to start the next day raring to go. It’s not always easy to tear ourselves away from the work that we have to do throughout the day, though. That is why it’s so important to have habits in place that you go through every day. These will help you unwind and reflect on the day while maintaining a setting that is conducive to rest.
- unwind together at the end of the day
When the day is done, and all of your work has ended, you need to relax. Health experts have named several ways in which you can unwind and get the rest you need without having to miss out on fun or valuable time with your partner. For example, turning off phones and televisions to reduce your overall blue light exposure (which keeps you awake for longer) will give you the ability to fall asleep and get the restful sleep you need to wake feeling fresh. You can also take a shower and then go into the bedroom and talk to your partner about your day. The bottom line is that you need some physical relaxation!
- create comfortable bedroom conditions
When it comes to making your bedroom the most comfortable place, you have to think about many little things. For example, do your best to keep your bedroom’s lighting low at night. Having UV light bulbs shining in your face when you turn the light on is going to make it hard to sleep. You and your partner must also decide on a temperature that helps you fall asleep. Many people need the ambient temperature to be on the low side. Also, the bedding you have should be comfortable and capable of helping you stay asleep. Invest in the comfort of your bedroom; you’ll spend a third of your life there!
- go to bed at the same time
Lastly, couples need to go to bed at the same time. Not only would going to bed at different times mess up the logistics of sleep and other activities, but your partner coming to bed could upset your sleep, too. Of course, the happiest couples are the ones that go to sleep at the same time because it increases the likelihood that they will make love. And nothing makes a couple happier than forming that particular habit!
Setting up your nighttime schedule to optimize your ability to rest is a smart way to spend time and unwind after a long day. Make sure you stay as comfortable and calm as possible, and you’ll find that sleeping is simple!
When you’re trying to set yourself up for success by developing new habits, it’s a great practice to bring along your partner for the ride. Having two people invested in meeting goals is a surefire way to experience a greater potential for success. You have to consider all facets of your life, though, and you must invest the time required to form and solidify the habits.